Everyone doesn’t think like you

Title: The War Within the Walls: Why Different Minds Are Your Spiritual Shield

By Harold Mawela

Akasia, Pretoria

Scripture: "If the whole body were an eye, where would hearing be?" (1 Cor. 12:17)

A Morning in Akasia

Let me paint you a picture. It’s 6 a.m. in Akasia. The R80 highway hums with taxis heading toward Pretoria CBD. I’m standing at my gate, watching my neighbor, Mr. Van der Merwe, wrestle with his solar inverter—cursing Eskom’s latest load-shedding schedule. Across the street, Mama Thandi is already hanging washing, singing a Zion hymn that cuts through the morning chill like a spiritual shofar.

Now, watch closely. Mr. Van der Merwe believes the solution to South Africa’s crisis is technical: better infrastructure, data-driven decisions, and German-engineered backup systems. Mama Thandi believes the solution is spiritual: prayer, praise, and ancestral alignment with God’s covenant. They love the same Jesus. They live on the same street. But friends, they do not think the same way.

And I thank God for that.

Because here is the truth that will save your marriage, your church, and your sanity: Everyone doesn’t think like you.

The Betrayal That Wasn't

I need to confess something. For years, I assumed that spiritual maturity meant mental uniformity. I thought that if someone truly loved the Lord, they would see every issue exactly as I saw it. The urgency of the gospel? Surely everyone feels the fire in their bones like I do. The definition of loyalty? Surely everyone knows that real commitment shows up at 5 a.m. for prayer.

Then they acted differently. And I felt betrayed.

My wife would approach a crisis with quiet reflection while I charged forward like a spiritual warrior. I interpreted her silence as indifference. She interpreted my aggression as panic. We clashed not because we loved different Gods, but because we had different mental models. I was the charging rhino; she was the patient eagle. Both dangerous. Both necessary. But in that moment? We nearly gored each other.

Here is the divine conspiracy: Your collapse was not malice; it was a mismatch of maps.

The apostle Paul, that brilliant theologian of the human condition, diagnosed this two thousand years ago. He looked at the church in Corinth—a congregation tearing itself apart over spiritual gifts, leadership styles, and worship preferences and he thundered: "If the whole body were an eye, where would hearing be?" (1 Corinthians 12:17).

Imagine, if you will, a church service where every single person is a prophet. No administrators. No greeters. No one to boil the tea or count the offerings. Just twenty eyes staring at the ceiling, waiting for a vision. The worship would be chaotic. The finances would collapse. And the devil would laugh.

The Cognitive Clash: A Logical Examination

Let me state this as a spiritual law, clear and unshakeable:

Premise One: God has distributed diverse gifts, temperaments, and cognitive styles throughout His body (Romans 12:4-6).

Premise Two: Conflict arises not from the presence of diversity, but from the assumption of uniformity.

Conclusion: Therefore, your frustration with others is not evidence of their spiritual failure but an invitation to your own humility.

A common objection I hear in our South African context especially in our churches goes like this: "But Pastor, we must be of one mind as Scripture says!" Yes, beloved, Philippians 2:2 calls us to be "like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind."

But let us define our terms carefully. The "one mind" Paul describes is unity of purpose, not uniformity of personality. It is harmony, not cloning. Think of a jazz band in Newtown, Johannesburg. The saxophone does not sound like the piano. The drums do not mimic the bass. But when each instrument plays its distinct part under the same conductor, the result is music. Remove one instrument, and the song is diminished.

As one scholar notes, "The perfection of the church depends not on each member being fashioned exactly alike" . Your different brain is not a threat to God’s plan—it is the very architecture of it.

The South African Crucible

Let me bring this home, because we are living this truth in blood and tears right now.

This week, the headlines scream about rising anti-immigrant sentiment in our beloved nation . Neighbor turns against neighbor. The slogan "they are taking our jobs" masks a deeper sickness: the refusal to see the image of God in someone who thinks, speaks, and prays differently. When a shopkeeper from Zimbabwe and a taxi driver from Soweto cannot find common ground, it is not an economic problem it is a theological one. We have forgotten the doctrine of the Body.

At the same time, our political leaders are locked in constitutional battles, challenging the Public Procurement Act and the NHI, spending billions of rands in litigation . The Democratic Alliance and Solidariteit stand opposed to the ANC and GOOD, each convinced of their own righteousness. I am not here to endorse any political party. But I will say this: when Christians absorb the partisan spirit of the world and demonize every brother who votes differently, we have already lost.

The enemy does not need to destroy your church building. He only needs to convince the eye that the hand is useless.

The Strategy: Ask, Don't Assume

Here is your practical weapon for the week. It is simple, but it will cost you your pride.

When conflict rises—when your husband makes a decision you don't understand, when your pastor announces a direction that baffles you, when your small group member prays in a way that irritates you—stop. Breathe. Then ask this question:

"How do you see this?"

Not "Why don't you see it my way?" That question is a dagger wrapped in curiosity. It assumes you are right and they are stubborn.

Instead, genuinely inquire: "Help me understand your map. What are you seeing that I am missing?"

The answer will save you years of conflict. I learned this the hard way. There was a deacon in my former church, a man built for administration. He loved spreadsheets, budgets, and timelines. I am a visionary—I dream in metaphors and wake up with sermon outlines. We clashed constantly. I called him faithless. He called me reckless. Then one day, I asked him: "How do you see this?"

He opened his ledger and showed me the numbers. We had three months of operating funds left. My grand vision for a new outreach center would have bankrupted the congregation. His "lack of faith" was actually wisdom dressed in caution. And my "recklessness" was actually courage dressed in urgency.

Together? We built a sustainable ministry that has fed orphans for seven years.

The Painful Gift

People are not you. Thank God.

Imagine a world of clones. Boring. Impotent. A choir of identical tenors singing the same note forever. Where is the harmony? Where is the richness?

Your spouse's cautious nature is not cowardice it is your brake pad. Your pastor's slow decision-making is not incompetence it is your shield against disaster. Your child's questions are not rebellion they are your blind spot illumination.

The research confirms what Scripture has always taught: humans have different cognitive styles . Some of us are "adaptors"—we prefer to work within established structures, perfecting what exists. Others are "innovators"—we see the existing structure as a cage and want to burn it down to build something new. Neither is evil. Both are needed. The adaptor ensures you don't die from chaos. The innovator ensures you don't die from stagnation.

Your setback that painful misunderstanding that blew up your relationship—was not a tragedy. It was a crash course in cognitive diversity. A divine classroom where the tuition was your ego.

The Call to War

Now, let me be clear. This is not a call to relativism. Truth is absolute. Sin is real. The gospel is non-negotiable. Jesus Christ is the only name under heaven by which we must be saved. On these matters, there is no diversity only fidelity.

But on methods, preferences, personalities, and approaches? Let a thousand flowers bloom.

Here is my challenge to you, child of God in Akasia, in Mamelodi, in Soshanguve, in Diepsloot. This week, find someone who thinks differently than you. Not someone who denies Christ someone who simply sees Him differently. A charismatic and a Reformed believer. A Zionist and a Baptist. An ANC supporter and a DA voter who both love Jesus.

Sit with them. Listen to them. Ask them: "How do you see this?"

You will not lose your convictions. You will gain their perspective. And together, you will see a Jesus more glorious than either of you imagined alone.

For as the Lord God declared through the prophet, "My ways are not your ways" (Isaiah 55:8). If the Almighty Himself delights in a mind we cannot fully comprehend, why do we demand that every brother mirror our own?

Prayer

Lord, cure me of the arrogance of sameness. Forgive me for the hours I have wasted being offended by Your own creativity. Teach me to ask before I assume. Teach me to listen before I judge. Let my home in Akasia be a laboratory of grace, where different minds sharpen each other into weapons of righteousness. And when the enemy sends confusion to divide us, let the sound of our unified worship—diverse voices, one song—shatter his kingdom like the walls of Jericho. In the name of Jesus Christ, our harmonizing Head. Amen.

Reflection Question: Who is the one person whose thinking frustrates you the most? Could it be that God placed them in your life specifically because they see what you cannot?

Harold Mawela is a theological writer and urban missionary based in Akasia, Pretoria. His upcoming book, "Sonic Armor: Worship as Warfare in the New SA," releases in 2026.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everyone-doesnt-think-like-you/id1506692775?i=1000770921230

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