Skip to main content

**Restoring Relationships**


Last Tuesday, during Eskom’s Stage 6 load-shedding, I sat in my dimly lit Akasia living room, staring at a WhatsApp message from my cousin Thabo. Our once-close bond had fractured over a political debate—ANC vs. EFF—that spiraled into personal jabs. His text read: *“You’ve become a coconut, bra. Black on the outside, white-washed inside.”* My reply? A venomous *“At least I’m not a populist clown.”* Pride, that sly serpent, had coiled around our tongues.  


But as the generator hummed and my coffee cooled, Colossians 3:13 flickered in my mind like a candle in the dark: *“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”* Unconditional. No asterisks. No “but he started it.” Just grace.  

**II. The Theology of Broken Pipes**  
South Africa knows fractures. Our Vaal River, choked by sewage and neglect, mirrors relational toxicity—grievances left to fester. Yet, Christ’s forgiveness isn’t a passive drip; it’s a flash flood. To “bear with one another” (Colossians 3:13) is to choose daily repair, even when the other person keeps clogging the pipes.  

Modern example? Look at our national mood. Last week’s protests over service delivery in Johannesburg saw neighbors hurling stones, then sharing *vetkoek* from the same frying pan. We’re a nation of paradoxes: rage and resilience, division and *ubuntu*. But grace, like the Vaal, insists on flowing toward reconciliation—even if it means navigating sludge.  

**III. Boundaries and Biltong**  
Forgiveness ≠ folly. When my colleague Nomsa borrowed R5,000 and vanished, I forgave—but also froze my bank app. Boundaries, friends, are holy. Proverbs 4:23 says *“guard your heart,”* not “leave your wallet on the table.” Toxic relationships demand wisdom: pray, release bitterness, but don’t hand the knife to someone who keeps stabbing.  

Yet, South Africa’s real miracle isn’t our biltong or sunsets; it’s how we’ve avoided a civil war. Why? Because somewhere, someone chose to lay down stones and pick up ploughshares (Isaiah 2:4). Nelson Mandela sipped tea with his jailers. Desmond Tutu laughed with those who spat at him. If they could forgive apartheid, can’t I forgive Thabo’s EFF rant?  

**IV. The Apology Letter (and the Rugby Match)**  
I wrote Thabo a letter. Not an email—ink on paper, like Paul’s epistles. I confessed my pride, quoted Proverbs 10:12 (*“love covers all offenses”*), and invited him to a braai. He arrived: *“Still voting for dead horses, hey?”* But as the fire crackled and the Springboks scored, we found common ground: Siya Kolisi’s leadership. Unity, it turns out, thrives where criticism dies.  

Which brings me to the Bokke. Last month’s win against the All Blacks wasn’t just sport; it was a sermon. A Zulu captain, a Afrikaans coach, and a Xhosa winger—each carrying scars, each choosing the jersey over old wounds. *That’s* Colossians 3:13 in scrum formation.  

**V. The Mystery of Softened Hearts**  
Here’s the rub: forgiveness is irrational. Why reconcile when you can retaliate? Why write letters when silence is safer? Because faith is a risk. When I prayed *“Lord, mend what’s broken,”* I didn’t feel a lightning bolt—just a nudge to pass the salt at the braai. Yet, Thabo’s latest text? *“Let’s watch the elections together. I’ll bring the snacks.”*  

God works like our Gautrain: on tracks we can’t always see, but always toward connection.  

**VI. The Call (and the Cricket)**  
So, Akasia friend, where’s *your* fracture? That estranged sibling? The coworker who stole your idea? The political troll on Twitter? Write the letter. Make the call. Set the boundary. Burn the bitterness.  

And if you doubt, remember: even Proteas cricketers drop catches—but the game goes on. Grace isn’t a trophy; it’s the pitch we play on, dusty and divine.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Peace in Mystery

The Pressure of Knowing: When the Finite Mind Meets the Infinite God My friends, from my home in Akasia, north of Pretoria, I see the night sky—a tapestry of stars flung across the void, a silent proclamation of a majesty that defies our comprehension. My mind, this small vessel of thoughts and fears, tries to grasp it. It tries to grasp everything. The rising price of maize meal. The scan of a medical report. The silent dread when a child is late coming home. We live in an age that worships at the altar of knowledge. We carry supercomputers in our pockets that promise every answer, yet our national soul feels more fractured, more anxious, than ever. We are a generation under immense pressure to figure it all out—the economy, the future, the purpose, the pain. We believe if we can just understand the “why,” we can control the outcome. We believe our peace is on the other side of comprehension. But I tell you today: this pressure is a burden God never asked you to carry. The ant underst...

The Law of the Open Hand

The Law of the Open Hand: From Scarcity to Divine Supply in a Clenched-Fist World By Harold Mawela From my study in Akasia, Pretoria, I look out at a nation holding its breath. We live in the perpetual tension between promise and provision, between what is pledged from podiums and what is present in our pantries. The headlines scream of crises competing for our fragmented attention, while our hearts whisper the ancient, agonizing question: “Will there be enough?” In this climate, a primal instinct takes hold: the clench. We clench our fists around our finances, our futures, our fragile sense of security. Yet, I come to you today with a counter-intuitive, kingdom truth, a law as immutable as gravity but activated by faith: The Law of the Open Hand. The Parable of the Tightened Fist: A Story from Soshanguve Let me tell you a story. Not from a dusty theological text, but from the sun-baked streets of Soshanguve. I visited a community kitchen run by a widow, Gogo Mthembu. Her pension was a...

Faithful in the Forgotten

  The Unseen Altar: Where God Forges Spiritual Depth in an Age of Instant Glory The Night the Lights Went Out The familiar, dreaded silence fell first. The hum of the refrigerator ceased mid-cycle. The bright screen of my phone, filled with the curated highlights of a dozen ministries, went black. Load-shedding had come to Akasia again. In the sudden, thick darkness, I fumbled for a candle. As the small flame took hold, it didn't just illuminate the room; it illuminated a truth. We spend so much energy trying to stay visible in the grid, terrified of the dark, when God so often uses the dark to show us the only light that truly matters. This is the tension we modern South Africans, and indeed all modern believers, must navigate. We live in a world that screams, "Your value is your visibility!" Social media metrics, church attendance numbers, and public influence are the new currencies of success. Yet, into this noise, the quiet, unwavering voice of Scripture speaks a coun...